unbeknownst to haters the cumulative +karma of their ironic reblogging of my posts has bumped me up to next-level blogger status. my spirit form just punched forward through time & made fun of their withered genitals
girl im gonna get ya name scraped into my skin at my microdermabrasion session this afternoon. my refreshed dermis will sing your name, girl
“true random means that ANYONE’S dad could hang themselfs in the garage” i explain to this snivelling dork who will NOT see reason
“say GOLF WANG” requests @swagteen69. “my career has moved on from this catch phrase” respond @fucktyler. but he say it anyway. and look sad
life Hacks: lie spreadeagled & prone on your bed. it is a shipping pallet. you are goods
Obama: 10 years ago we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash & Steve Jobs
Crowd: *boos*
Obama: So this one time at band camp…
Crowd: *cheers*
“yeah.oh yeah. this shit is fucking delicious. its a god damn taste sensation.it s a partyin my mouth” i SARCASTICALLY shout at the idiot dinner party hosts who should have known to not put gerberas in a fancy fuckin glass if they didnt want anyone to eat them
4 and 20 black birds BAKED in a pie??? more like sing a song of SWAG pence ha ha ha
A knock at the door. outside.. No one?? *missile zoom down & explode. candy hearts shower everywhere. a thoughtful drone-o-gram from your boyfriend*
